Move On was a group effort among myself, Brian Sachs, and David Gelfand. It has more emotional appeal than songwriting craft.
The power positions and rhymes are rather weak: behind/inside, mind/pride, goodbye/time, etc.
I like the opening line, “5 o’clock yesterday…” It sets the tone nicely. The chorus contrasts with the verse but it’s not enough of a hook for me. And the line, “acquaintance won’t hinder”, is mis-aligned with the stressed beats which makes it hard to understand.
There’s a nice climax in the bridge which leads into a 3rd verse pretty naturally - normally a bridge connects two choruses. And the final choruses provide some nice emotional content.
So the music is pretty good but misses the mark by not being memorable enough in the chorus. The lyrics could use a heavy dose of rewriting altogether.
Five o’clock yesterday
Dreamt of leaving you behind
Couldn’t get to sleep
Voice too loud inside
And nothing’s gonna change my mind
Gonna stand proud and fight
And I won’t back down
Five o’clock yesterday
Dreamt of leaving you behind
Chorus:
You know when it’s time to
MOVE ON
Acquaintance won’t hinder
MOVE ON
Clear my mind like a river
MOVE ON
Acquaintance won’t hinder
MOVE ON
Clear my mind like a river
My mind like a river
Higher than a kite
Waiving to a train, goodbye
Couldn’t get off the tracks
Couldn’t feel no pain this time
And I think she’s gonna blow a mile high
Wanna feel some love tonight
Hope it won’t slow down
Higher than a kite
Waiving to a train, goodbye
Chorus:
You know when it’s time to
MOVE ON
Acquaintance won’t hinder
MOVE ON
Clear my mind like a river
MOVE ON
Acquaintance won’t hinder
MOVE ON
Clear my mind like a river
My mind like a river
There comes a point at every crossroad
The south wind won’t shelter
The storm has finally reached it’s hour
There’s no denying of its power
No false words are spoken here
To feel the presence of another
Thought I didn’t understand
Now it’s too late to try
Wonder if you realized
When you crossed that line
There’s no use in asking why
I saw all the signs
And I won’t be around
Thought I didn’t understand
Now it’s too late to try
Chorus:
You know when it’s time to
MOVE ON
Acquaintance won’t hinder
MOVE ON
Clear my mind like a river
MOVE ON
Acquaintance won’t hinder
MOVE ON
Clear my mind like a river
My mind like a river
MOVE ON
Acquaintance won’t hinder
MOVE ON
Clear my mind like a river
MOVE ON
Acquaintance won’t hinder
MOVE ON
Clear my mind like a river
My mind like a river
Five o’clock yesterday
Dreamt of leaving you behind
Download: Move On